Thursday, September 22, 2011

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Dear Juniors,

If you missed class, we completed the following:
1. We reviewed the short story entitled "The Open Window" and then took the re-take quiz concerning the story. We will correct it on Friday.
2. Every student submitted their AW #4 regarding  Cloning, and I gave everyone AW #5 entitled "Your Pants might Power Up your I-Pod." This AW is due on Thursday, September 29th.
3. The remaining time was spent explaining your homework assignment regarding the song "Ironic" by Alantis Morisette. I have included a copy of it for you below. Please print it off, as you will need it. THE ASSIGNMENT IS DUE ON FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 23rd!
Your assignment involves underlining all the aspects that Ms. Morisette believes to be ironic, but in actuality ARE NOT! Big Hint: Not one aspect of irony exists within the song. After you have done this, you are to select FIVE of the non-ironic points and actually MAKE THEM IRONIC.

For example: "A man turned ninety-eight. He won the lottery and then died the next day."
This isn't ironic at all, it just happens to be unfortunate.
This  new and updated version is far more ironic.
A ninety-eight year old man has purchased a lottery ticket each day since he turned twenty-one. The asbestos from the lottery tickets have infected his lungs, causing lung cancer. He decides to buy a lottery ticket on the day her turns ninety eight, and luckily he is a winner......$1,000,000, but he dies the next day from the cancer caused by opening the lottery tickets for the past seventy-seven years.  NOW THAT'S IRONIC!

"Ironic"

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

 Cheers,
Crampton