Monday, August 26, 2013

Monday, August 26th, 2013

Dear Juniors,
If you missed class, we completed the following:
1. Each student who submitted their "Where I Stand" introductory assignment had it returned to them. Please stop by the room in order to collect your paper.
2. We then reviewed the color coding structure by identifying each section (topic sentence, concrete detail, commentary, etc) in the following examples. Each student identified the appropriate structural element by color coding the body paragraphs below. We discussed why #2 is so much stronger. The second paragraph is stronger, but the student is confusing concrete details with commentary. We then worked together and rewriting the sections that needed help.

Paragraph Examples
#1. Bryson Nickle
            Due to the pain that one feels during post surgery, scientists and doctors use new medicines to help patients through pain relief. However, many drugs fail to provide sufficient relief due to the weakness of the drugs. For example, Stephen Aaron, a middle-aged man from Salt Lake City, Utah, recently required back surgery. He received morphine to help cope with the pain he felt, however, the pain pushed through the medicine to a point where he found it almost unbearable. The drugs couldn't provide the relief he required, and unfortunately legalized marijuana isn't an option in Utah. Very few people react negatively to marijuana Allergic reaction reports seem to come up very seldom and far in between. These reasons help indicate why medical marijuana should become an option in all states.
#2. Bryson Nickle (with more commentary/support)
            Due to post surgery pain, medical professionals have used new approaches, including the use of marijuana, to assist patients with pain relief. According to one study conducted by the US Society for Neuroscience, “Careful studies show marijuana directly interferes with pain signaling in the nervous system. This insight may lead to a new class of pain killers. Patients suffering from spinal cord injuries and the ill effects of chemotherapy will find pain relief through using marijuana (Joy, Stanley and Benson). This statement has merit. Stephen Aaron, a middle-aged man from Salt Lake City, Utah who recently required back surgery,  received morphine to help cope with the strong post surgery discomfort; however, the morphine did not ease his pain. If current pain options cease to alleviate patient pain, then other avenues need consideration.  A second study sponsored by the Healthcare Regularly Agency (HRA) indicated that the 200 individuals used in the study “found the use of marijuana  most effective, particularly  regarding pain relief and improved sleep” (Armenteno). If Mr. Aaron had taken marijuana for his pain, he would have recovered more quickly and experienced less side effects from the surgery. Unfortunately, the use of medical marijuana creates a barrier in many states. Thirteen states and the District of Columbia permit the use of medical marijuana (Seimons). If approved throughout the United States, medical marijuana would decrease pain experienced by those recovering from surgery and other illnesses.
  3. We then proceeded to triangle a body paragraph regarding steroid use. We brainstormed ideas for a valid body thesis We looked at some pro/con elements that we could include in the body paragraph regarding steroids to strengthen the validity of the paper. Each student received a copy of a document entitled "PRO/CON ELEMENTS REGARDING STEROID USE."

1. Students were asked to complete the body paragraph regarding steroid use. Students were asked to complete the triangle and then write their paragraph using color. This assignment is due on Wednesday.

2. Remember that your AW #1 is due on Friday!