Dear Juniors,
If you missed class, we completed the following:
1. Each student who submitted their "Where I Stand" introductory assignment had it returned to them. Please stop by the room in order to collect your paper.
2. We then reviewed the color coding structure by identifying each
section (topic sentence, concrete detail, commentary, etc) in the
following examples. Each student identified the appropriate structural
element by color coding the body paragraphs below. We discussed why #2
is so much stronger. The second paragraph is stronger, but the student is confusing concrete details with commentary. We then worked together and rewriting the sections that needed help.
Paragraph Examples
#1. Bryson Nickle
Due to the pain that one feels during post surgery,
scientists and doctors use new medicines to help patients through pain relief.
However, many drugs fail to provide sufficient relief due to the weakness of
the drugs. For example, Stephen Aaron, a middle-aged man from Salt Lake City,
Utah, recently required back surgery. He received morphine to help cope with
the pain he felt, however, the pain pushed through the medicine to a point
where he found it almost unbearable. The drugs couldn't provide the relief he
required, and unfortunately legalized marijuana isn't an option in Utah. Very
few people react negatively to marijuana Allergic reaction reports seem to come
up very seldom and far in between. These reasons help indicate why medical
marijuana should become an option in all states.
#2. Bryson Nickle (with
more commentary/support)
Due to post surgery pain, medical professionals have used
new approaches, including the use of marijuana, to assist patients with pain relief.
According to one study conducted by the US Society for Neuroscience, “Careful
studies show marijuana directly interferes with pain signaling in the nervous
system. This insight may lead to a new class of pain killers. Patients suffering
from spinal cord injuries and the ill effects of chemotherapy will find pain
relief through using marijuana (Joy, Stanley and Benson). This statement has
merit. Stephen Aaron, a middle-aged man from Salt Lake City, Utah who recently
required back surgery, received morphine
to help cope with the strong post surgery discomfort; however, the morphine did
not ease his pain. If current pain options cease to alleviate patient pain,
then other avenues need consideration. A
second study sponsored by the Healthcare Regularly Agency (HRA) indicated that
the 200 individuals used in the study “found the use of marijuana most effective, particularly regarding pain relief and improved sleep”
(Armenteno). If Mr. Aaron had taken marijuana for his pain, he would have
recovered more quickly and experienced less side effects from the surgery.
Unfortunately, the use of medical marijuana creates a barrier in many states.
Thirteen states and the District of Columbia permit the use of medical
marijuana (Seimons). If approved throughout the United States, medical
marijuana would decrease pain experienced by those recovering from surgery and
other illnesses.
HOMEWORK:
1. Students were asked to complete the body paragraph regarding steroid use. Students were asked to complete the triangle and then write their paragraph using color. This assignment is due on Wednesday.
2. Remember that your AW #1 is due on Friday!